Lord, have mercy on my rough and rowdy ways.
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Every summer I like to set out goals for myself to accomplish, most of them have no signifigant meaning, and a lot of the time I don’t do many of them. However, its nice to be able to reference a list when I’m feeling bored, but also to look back and see what I did accomplish over my almost 3 month break from school.
- I want to save $1,000 this summer. Thankfully I’ve been blessed with enough scholarships this year that I will not have to pay for school, however I want to start saving money for what will hopefully be a trip to Europe, so saving money over the summer will help me to make Europe a reality.
- I want to lose another 15lbs. Since this time last year I have lost almost 40lbs and created what I believe is a much healthier lifestyle with me eating much better and working out when I can. So this summer, when I have the time I’d love to be able to get in a healthy routine so that when I go back for my busiest year of school, I’ll be able to keep up with my weight and my health.
- I want to go camping. My friends and I have been talking for years about going camping, but I want to make it happen this year. Georgia is home to so many beautiful forests up in the Blue Ridge area, and I want to take advantage of my beautiful state while I still have time!
- I want to start and finish one legitimate DIY project for my apartment, whether its painting and distressing a dresser, creating a headboard or doing my shutter pot holder I’ve been talking about, I want to learn to create things for myself while I still have the tools and assistance from my dad right at home.
- I want to travel somewhere that requires me to fly. I adore flying and traveling, and going a year without being on a plane just hurts my heart. It’s looking more than likely that I’ll go and visit Tye in California in the next 2 months.
- Attend 2 concerts/shows, I love live music and its such a thrill to see a new or old band perform right in front of you. I’ve already seen the Avett Brothers so it looks like I’ll just need one more!
- Visit all of my friends who are living and working in Atlanta! I’ve lived in Georgia all of my life but I’ve never really gotten to know our capital city. This summer is the perfect opportunity since I have friends who are living there and are now far away from me.
- I want to further my relationship with the Lord. I hate putting pressure on myself to spend a certain amount of time in the Word or in prayer because it makes it seem like a burden of a job instead of a blossoming relationship.
- I want to start growing a small garden, whether its flowers or herbs, I’m finally in an apartment that has both a beautiful windowsill and a great backyard, so it would be to my own benefit to develop my green thumb over the next 2 months.
- I want to actually read my 20 assigned books over the summer, I’ve never been good about actually doing my summer work, so this summer I am going to set out to read what I need to read to help the students that will be in my classroom!
- Attend at least one Braves game! I love going to baseball games, and I’m finally at the age where I can tailgate before. Tickets are cheap and its always an entertaining time.
Does anyone else have any ideas for goals I could accomplish this summer or things to do over my break?
After every memorable experience in my life I always regret not taking more photos and documenting every little smile or laugh, every place visited and the little minute detail.
Last week especially though. Last Tuesday I picked Tye up from the airport and from that night we had a whirlwind week together, however, most of it was spent cuddling on the couch, packing up my apartment or driving around Milledgeville. It wasn’t eventful, yet it was memorable. Meeting someone in person for the first time that you’ve known for almost 8 months is half terrifying, and half relieving, and meeting Tye was no different. We instantly clicked, just as we thought we would. Yes, we argued during the week, but it was bound to happen when you’re spending 24/7 with a person you’re not used to being around. But it was still amazing.
At this point, I’m not sure if we’re in a relationship or what’s going on. I don’t know if I could even handle a long distance relationship. Which is why we keep reassuring each other with day-by-day.
I wish I’d documented last week better, so that I could just show off one picture of us. But I guess that just means that there has to be a next time…
I am way too good at being by myself. I don’t know if I’ve been telling myself for this too long or I just enjoy being single way too much, but I don’t know how to be around people for extended periods of time. Especially when they like me.
I make no sense.
And I wouldn’t change a second of it. I don’t say it enough, I am so blessed to have the friends I have. They mean the world to me. They’re crazy, hilarious and so ridiculously weird and I love them more than anything. I spent time with my favorite band jumping around in the pouring rain and head banging my little heart out, rolling around on the floor with a 96 lb dog and drinking hunch punch, laughing to Bwandon and playing circle of death with people I haven’t seen in almost a year.
Okay, I’m done being cheesy, just needed to express my love for weekends like this one.
I’m aching for travel, for adventure, for deep conversations, late nights and situations that challenge my comfort zone more than I could have ever thought possible. I’ve mentioned my monotonous life before, trapped in loads of school work and the life of the young adolescent so much, that 3 months of my junior year have passed by in the blink of an eye. I constantly feel anxious, yet calm, apathetic, yet deeply enraged and motivated to do something about my situation, about the lives of others. Yet I am stuck. I need to begin praying again for God to throw me a curveball, to give me an opportunity that will yank me away from the life I am comfortable with, into a life a world full of culture and differing viewpoints. I need that right now.
Send me, use me.
How did I just register for my senior year of college? How have I been here for 3 years? I can’t believe time is flying by like this. Some days I just want it to stop, but honestly most days I wish they would come quicker, end faster and get me to the finish line known as graduation. Cohort is hard, my life next year will be gone, but will it be worth it? I really don’t know yet.
Today was honestly a gift from God. Not only did I feel better and happier than I have in a week now, but today only validated my passion for teaching and what I want to do with the rest of my life. I woke up this morning not wanting to get up, just wanting to roll over, push the pile of responsibilities I have to the side and avoiding life for another day. However, a field trip to the School of Education from my last placement, my favorite 5th graders in the world, result in 4 different groups of bear hugs from nine or ten 11 year olds. My heart just melted, and I loved on some of my favorite kids in the entire world! Essentially, that was the most eventful part of my day, but my heart and mind were just so at peace today, and I was filled with this overwhelming joy all day, joy that could only be an act of God. I smiled through 10 hours of classes, through a meeting with my professor, seeing one of the teachers I’ve worked with who called me “wise beyond my years” with some of the best instincts he’d ever seen in a pre-service teacher, through a meeting, through my run and through an amazing Wesley service. I am so thankful for this redeeming day!
A close friend of mine could seriously use some prayer right now. Last night him, and another good friend of mine were jumped in their home town. One got a black eye and a busted lip, but the other wasn’t so lucky and is now in ICU with a fractured skull and brain swelling. He has some problems with alcohol and his anger, but despite that he has the sweetest, kindest heart I know and loves the Lord more than anything. Please pray for his healing and his family and friends who have been hurt by this horrible incident.
As someone who has recently had a classroom full of beautiful children, that I love very dearly, my heart absolutely breaks not just for the parents of these children, but for the school as a whole. A school is supposed to be a safe haven for children, so to have the walls tainted by this horrible event is a crime itself. These events hit me harder and harder every time, but more than ever this one got to me, and I found myself sitting in front of my computer absolutely sobbing. This world is a rotten, sin-ridden place, and more than I ever I find myself clinging to the only protection and comfort I truly have in this world, and that is Christ himself.
I think one of the biggest tragedies of societal expectations and cultural differences in the United States is this belief and instillment in the male youth, that in order for them to be a “man” they have to rough, hard, unbreakable, indestructible Showing emotion is seen as a weakness, and therefore should never be done. When in reality, or at least in my opinion that emotion, is a strength, not a weakness. It makes people human, and yes vulnerable. But vulnerable in the best way possible, vulnerable to life, to love, to other people. I see this need to be strong, to not be weak or vulnerable in so many men, but I also see it in my female peers as well, and it absolutely breaks my heart. To be vulnerable to life outside of yourself is a strength, it is most certainly not a weakness.
